A Return (not) Post Covid

In the immortal words of Staind (and probably many others) – It’s been awhile. I think it’s apt that I return with the first prompt from the writing retreat I have just returned from.

In 2019, I attended a writing retreat in Michigan, urged to join by my friend, Missy. It pushed me out of my comfort zone (and led me to create this blog in the first place), as I’m not used to sharing my writing. Well, actually, it’s easy to share it online – not reading it aloud to other writers. Jaw-dropping, amazing authors. Here was me, a little fanfiction writer, trying to elbow my way in amid published authors and poets.

What surprised me, however, was I did fit in and fell in love with my fellow participants. It broke my heart when the 2020 retreat canceled due to the pandemic. I wanted to meet up with my new friends and see Missy again. I wanted to share with them again, and hear their stories and words. Wanted that inspiration that left me in summer 2020 – when I couldn’t even bring myself to write my beloved Klance and KevEdd stories.

When I heard that the 2021 retreat was a go, I scrambled for the time off – an almost impossibility from my job in the summer. I could only squeak out a three-day trip – fly in for the first day, leave immediately after (Monday-Wednesday) – with no time to spend before or after with Missy. At least I was able to attend. Renew my relationships with former attendees and make three new friends. Absorb their beautiful prose and poetry. Write a couple of my own pieces (which I will share here and in a few subsequent posts).

The first prompt given to us was perfectly fitting…enjoy.

Pandemic Blues

Writing during the pandemic.

Stifling.  Stuck.  Stilted. 

A whole lot of ssssssssssuck.

Writer’s block.  Uncertainty.  Lost confidence.  I mean, I barely had it to begin with, and it’s quarantined now, too.

Well-meaning friends try to encourage by saying ‘look at all the free time.  You can’t vacation!  You can’t go out anywhere!  You must be able to get a lot of writing done.’

Except, for me my writing comes from a place of happiness.  Not that I have to BE happy.  But, it goes hand in hand.  The pandemic depressed me.  I normally write rom-com, silly stuff.  In June, I was writing two stories which had both come to parts full of angst and fights and homophobia.  Depression upon depression waves that wash over and stifle me, just as the three comforters did months later as I lay in bed recovering. 

Isolated from family and friends.  Shivering from Covid chills. 

‘You know!  You get two weeks off work now!  You should finish that story!’

Yeah, if I wasn’t buried under three blankets, fighting a cough and headache and the fear that I’d be dead in a week, sure.  I’ll get right on that.

If anything, now, I’m more determined, coming out on the other side.  I muddled on and got through my stories and shared them with my readers.  I posted the last of them a few weeks ago, almost exactly a year after the depression-induced writers block, and it brought me back to the happy place.

Everyone says it, but the truth is life is short and I’ve got more to say.