Writing Battle – Wonder

At the same time that the Writing Battle Spring Microfiction was going on, the Writing Battle Wonder Battle was as well. This one was a pro-judged one, so we could see the results of who won in your individual battle after each round from round one through round five. Three losses and you’re out, so by round four a lot of people knew they had already lost.

Rounds six, seven, and eight are hidden, so you have to wait about a month to know if you passed the rounds and went to the head-to-head tournament. They release the results on the Friday afternoon before the tournament every thirty minutes.

I was excited, because after five rounds, I was 5-0. A perfect score. All I needed was one win to advance to the tournament. I was so excited for the result announcements. I figured…hey…I have to get at least one more point in three chances!

Nope. Lost six, seven, and eight.

I was crushed and lost a lot of faith in my writing. I wasn’t even too invested in this story, but seeing that it won five rounds in a row gave me a boost of confidence. And the results came just as I was supposed to write something for another competition. Needless to say, I’m not sure how well I did with that one. We will see when results come out for that.

Anyway, this one was a challenge, because I got Adventure. I was hoping for one of the other genres (fairy tale, fantasy, sci-fi). I had the opportunity to change the genre once, since I wasn’t too confident about adventure. But I also wanted to try for one of the trophy graphics you can get at Writing Battle – the no redraw trophy, so I went with it. I got: Adventure / Accountant / Ticket Stub.

Not great, but I actually came up with something. I wrote it out and had Matt look it over. Thankfully, I checked it before turning it in, because at first I read just ticket, instead of ticket stub…and had to rewrite the ending. Anyway, enjoy my little adventure story!

The Heroic Adventures of Charles Bowling

Charles ducks under the spray of fire. Nothing in his thirty-five years has prepared him to fight a dragon, yet he is desperately trying to get past the beast to the treasure beyond. The purple jewel has to be there, and Charles has to find it to get home.

Charles Bowling had fallen into a doze at his desk and awoke to find himself in a new world far from his familiar place at Johnson & Sellers Accounting Firm, where he spent his days with spreadsheets and researching tax laws to help rich clients save money.

He was on a pile of hay in a barn next to an old man with a long beard and brown robe. The man, Markel, told Charles he was a wizard, who used magic to bring Charles to this world. Markel proclaimed it was Charles’ destiny to retrieve the purple jewel stolen by the red dragon and hidden in the blue hills above the green meadows. Charles had protested his ability to battle a dragon, but the old wizard had insisted and Charles went hither. 

Charles Bowling was a small, mousy man with thinning, brown hair, thick-lensed glasses, bony elbows, and knobby knees. He preferred video games over playing actual sports, and had never even held a baseball bat. 

Yet, here he was, swinging a sword at a house-sized dragon. What frustrates him most is the dragon seems to be toying with him. It helps to keep Charles alive, but Charles feels insulted. Hadn’t he battled his way over the green meadows? ‘Battled’ may be a slight exaggeration. Mostly he battled the grass, which grew above his knobby knees and took much of his energy chopping through with the sword he had acquired in a tavern.

That was a nice tavern, with tasty food and drink, interesting people, and a sword hidden behind a stack of boxes. He took the sword, because he figured that would be the best way to slay the dragon, though he wasn’t sure how to use it. Slicing grass for two days to hew a pathway gave him the feel of it, and hadn’t he used swords before in virtual video games? It was the same thing.

Food and money came easily during his journey, too. Charles had been on the quest for two weeks. He ran into the occasional citizen, whom he would question. Sometimes he searched their home, as he did in video games, for food, money, and clothes. 

It had been a harrowing sojourn for a man who rarely left his house except for work, and here he was, fighting a dragon who didn’t take him seriously.

“Excuse me,” a voice calls. The stream of fire over his head cuts and Charles spins around, putting his back to the dragon.

He sees two men dressed in knightly gear. One man is tall and round, the other short and narrow. “Yes?” he asks.

“We’re from the King’s guard,” tall and round says.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Charles gasps, gesturing with his sword over his shoulder. “I need help.”

“Who are you?” short and narrow asks.

“Charles.”

“What do you do, Charles?”

Charles pushes his glasses firmly up his nose. “I’m an accountant.”

Short and narrow looks at tall and round with a cocked eyebrow. “An accountant? Do you write accounts of people? A bard?”

“No, I keep account of money.”

“A tax collector?”

“Not exactly, but I do work with taxes.”

“Why is a tax-collecting bard fighting a dragon, Charles?” tall and round asks.

“I was sent on a quest,” Charles responds.

“By whom?”

“A wizard. He was in the village with the windmill. I woke up in a barn and a man with a long beard and a brown robe sent me hither,” Charles says. “He said his name was Markel.”

“Markel the Mad?”

“He didn’t seem angry to me,” Charles says.

“Then what?”

“I acquired my warrior outfit,” Charles says, holding his arms out to display the fine outfit he’d plucked off a clothesline.

“Stole clothes…”

“And I battled my way through the land,” Charles insists.

“You cut a path through Farmer Johnson’s hay field and ruined part of his harvest,” short and narrow points out.

“I obtained weapons, food, and coins.”

“Stole from the citizens…”

“Overcame many a foe,” Charles says, brandishing his acquired sword.

“Harassed local villagers,” from tall and round.

“And conquered many beasts along the way!”

“You slapped the flat of that stolen sword against Parker’s cow,” short and narrow says, rolling his eyes.

Caught up in his narrative of brave adventures, Charles points the sword at the dragon, who had settled its bulk on the ground, watching the tableau with a tilted head. “Now, I am to slay the dragon and win the purple jewel!”

“Yeah,” tall and round drawls, “Slaying dragons is illegal.”

“It is?”

“Markel the Mad,” short and narrow says, “is crazy. He sent you on a fool’s quest. Dragons don’t have jewels. You’re lucky we stopped you.”

“Yes,” tall and round agrees. “Tamasi here is humoring you, but if you’d have harmed her, you’d go right to the dungeon. As it is, we’re to investigate the havoc you created since you arrived. The dungeon or a citation. Maybe both.”

“Citation?” Charles asks, feeling his bravado seeping out of him. “A ticket?”

“Ticket? You think you get a ticket stub to the fair? No, my misled friend,” tall and round says. “Rather a piece of paper with a fine on it.”

“A ticket,” Charles says, shoulders slumping. “I’ve never even received a parking ticket.”

“You’re a strange one,” short and narrow says with a little laugh. “Surrender your sword and come with us.”

Charles drops the sword and feels the dragon nudge him in the back with her snout, huffing a concerned sound. The two knights gesture for him to follow, not bothering to chain or physically restrain him, which Charles feels is a bruise to the ego.

“This was nothing like my video games.”