NaNo snippet

Below is what probably will be the opening to the novel I’m working on for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). If you don’t know, NaNoWriMo is a global event that challenges writers to write 50,000 words in the month of November. I participated the last three years and won the challenge each year – but with FanFiction. This year I wanted to try an original piece.

At the writing retreat I attended in June, I wrote a short (less than 500 word piece) from a prompt I found on Pinterest. See my archives for the one titled “Thief”. I loved this piece and thought I could expand on it more.

For background, the piece was based on one of my Fandoms – on an episode that was a fantasy episode – so it included the characters, but the characters as players in a DnD type game. I used one of those player characters in the “Thief” prompt.

I kept going back to it though, and thought I could expand it into a longer fantasy piece. I spent the last month developing the characters (and the one only vaguely resembles the one from my fandom now) and a loose plot and am excited to see if I can pull this off. Feedback is welcome, especially for this first part. Does it draw you in, at least? Does it make you want to read more???

(Also like to note, if I don’t know what I want to name/call something, I use a ??? in my writing – and highlight it – just to inform myself later to work on it. I don’t like to interrupt the flow of my writing just to think of names. You’ll see those ??? in this snippet. The first is a race of evil creatures. The second time you see them will be a race of creatures similar to the elves in Lord of the Rings, but not nice…kind of bad elves.)

SNIPPET

The figure sat atop the outer wall, legs dangling over the edge, the cold rock seeping through his leggings.  Even the short fur of his legs didn’t protect him from the night chill that made the stone under him damp with dew.  “I need something a little warmer if I’m going to work up here in the north,” he muttered under his breath, hugging his arms across his chest. 

The manor in front of him appeared deserted, but he knew better.  Manors like this were rarely empty.  Even should the Lord or Lady be absent, servants and staff would remain behind.  Some kind of guard.  After all, manors such as this generally housed treasures that needed to be kept guarded. 

The unnerving thing about this place, however, was the lack of evidence of anyone living here.  He cursed the fact that he wasn’t from this area and had no idea who lived in the manor.  He only knew that it looked like a rich place and a good spot to pilfer a few things that would help him on his way to a better wardrobe and possibly some food.

Casing the place all day yielded nothing.  He thought, at one point, he saw a light from one of the windows, but that happened when the sun went down and only lasted a quarter of an hour before disappearing. 

The manor was modest, but elegant enough to suggest a smaller noble.  A noblet, as it were, he punned in his head with a smirk.  Nobling?  He chuckled, the sound faint in the slight breeze that ruffled the hair around his ears.  The left twitched around at a sound from the woods behind him, but he brushed it off as probably some animal in a tree.

The quiet manor waited patiently, glowing in the half-moonlight.  The stars were mostly obstructed by the wispy clouds coursing in their uncaring path across the night sky.  He shrunk in upon himself when he glanced up.  The sky still unsettled him, though night wasn’t as bad as day.  The bigness of it was something he could not get used to.

A three storey building, the manor appeared to be made of the same stone as the outer wall.  It was typical of the area, more show than protection.  The humans of the north rarely saw war and lived far from the south where ??? ravaged the countryside stirring up trouble.  The ??? most likely didn’t want to deal with the cold and snow, he thought.  The manors and castles to the south tended to be more warlike – battlements and fortifications rather than comfort.

Northern humans apparently appreciated beauty over brawn. 

This particular manor wasn’t as showy or extravagant as the one five leagues to the west, where he was able to lift a number of jewels, a new pair of boots, and a week’s worth of food.  That was a fun little burglery – he lifted it all while the family, servants, and staff were at their dinners.  He probably should have waited until the evening, but he wanted to challenge himself and the humans there were none the wiser.

The manor in front of him, however?  It wasn’t like any of the others he visited in this kingdom over the past year.  No bustling servants running to and fro on their errands.  No guards sleeping while standing, leant against the portcullis side with their pikes held loosely in hand.  No stableboys saddling up hunting horses for the Lord.  No one period.

The strange thing was that it didn’t look abandoned.  He knew abandoned houses.  They had a feel to them.  The lanes and the grounds would usually be weed-choked and overgrown.  Hedges would not be trimmed or neat.  Gardens would lay fallow or have vegetables rotting away in soggy mud.  This place looked lived in.  Just without humans.

Maybe ???.  That didn’t make sense to him, however.  The ??? rarely lived among humans, nor did they live in the north.  The ??? preferred the southern reaches, in spite of the dangers there.  Gold and gem mines were prevalant in the south, so of course the ??? would live close to them, he thought bitterly.  The greedy bastards.

He shook his head, chasing away the frown he had tried to put behind him.  That part of his life was over, he thought with determination.  The ??? were reclusive, to be sure, so it would make sense for the lack of activity in this manor.  However, the ??? also loved luxury, so if a ??? lived here, the staff and servants would be doubled than what the humans would have.

He sighed, bending at his waist and propping his elbows on his thighs to cradle his chin in his hands.  He couldn’t sit here all night.  He could sit here for weeks trying to figure out the mystery of a deserted place that didn’t appear to be deserted – or he could just haul his tail down there and take a look.  He waited for another half hour, however, as he felt quite comfortable where he was, in spite of the cold and damp.

“Alright,” he said to himself suddenly, his voice quiet in the dark, as he straightened up, slapping his palms against his legs.  “Time to get to work.”